The cheerio hog.
December 17, 2008, 8:49 pm
Filed under: Love | Tags:

Teddy eats all of Mike Jones cheerio’s.  

this means war...

this means war...


Plans: my enemy, or my friend?
December 16, 2008, 4:57 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

timeI am having an inner struggle involving how to organize and (de-organize) my life.  Basically, I’m the biggest most neurotic obsessive-compulsive planner.  I eat one meal, and then I think about what I will have for the next one.  I mentally lay out my clothes in my head every night while I’m laying in bed.  I not only pick the restaurant that I’m meeting my friends for dinner at, but I also pick what corner we will meet at, what time, and perhaps have a plan B should things fall through.  I plan when I want to get home on saturday night, and how late I want to sleep.  Plans control my life.  But sometimes, when I realize I’m starting to annoy my friends with figuring out two weeks in advance who’s apartment we’re going to meet up at, I just want to smash my plans to pieces.  I just want to stomp on them and squish them with my work-heels and say “eff you plans! I wont let you control me!”  But, the plans end up winning usually.  Or, the plan to cancel the plans win.  One way or another, everything is mapped out in my head.

I feel like I used to be really spontaneous.  I think the neurosis of living in new york city and having a 50 hour/week job has gotten the best of me.  I must build in enough time for sleep, and enough time for play.  I think most new yorkers can relate that it can be a scary thing when you don’t see a best friend for over a month strictly because your schedules will not allow it.    It’s also equally scary when I feel as though seeing certain friends can be like maintaining “contacts”.  I hope I never let my life get to a point where I confuse business meetings with pleasurable times spent with friends, but I can’t say that those lines don’t get blurry.

The funny thing is, I didn’t plan at all to write about this blog topic at some point this afternoon.  I just spontaneously fit it in between two meetings.

A good preoccupation
December 13, 2008, 9:37 pm
Filed under: Art | Tags: ,

It’s been a long time since I’ve visited this site, let alone write on it.  I feel as though I’ve let a growing and morphing being out in the cold with little room to grow and be nurtured.  Okay it’s only a blog, but still.  At least it’s safe to say I’ve found other ways of preoccupying myself through creative means – painting.  Yes, I’ve abandoned you for the time being, for oil paints, my easel, and an image of the Andes Mountains.  And damn…it felt good.  img_15841

Wading in the present sea
December 2, 2008, 11:26 am
Filed under: Love, Uncategorized

superstock_1166r-3724young-woman-swimming-underwater-in-a-swimming-pool-postersI feel in a bit of a slump today.  I have the blues.  The post thanksgiving, pre christma-hanna-kwanzika, recession-filled, cold tuesday morning blues. 

I think in both respects, life can by so cyclic, that sometimes the predictable feeling of knowing what’s behind you and in front of you can make you feel like you’re wading in a swimming pool of clocks, thinking about the next event while finishing the current one.  Definitely a mixture of the two.  I suppose it breeds productivity which is always a good thing, yet also breeds a feeling of unfulfillment, when you’re constantly waiting for the next hurrah.  Either way, here we are today, doing our tuesday morning routine.  Thinking about lunch (lentil soup today), and planning events for the weekend (seeing friends, sleeping, painting, yoga).  I guess in that sense life ain’t so bad.  Ultimately, I need to not think so much and focus on the pleasures of the present.  For the present only lasts at this moment, and that’s really all we can hold onto anyway.